Fatwa: # 19867
Category: Marriage
Country: Ghana
Date: 17th March 2012

Title

Is Marrying before an elder brother permissible? What should I do?

Question

I am a young man twenty eight years old. I really want to marry but I have four senior brothers who are not yet married. I feel very uncomfortable to marry before them. What should I do?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

It is narrated on the authority of Ali Radhi Allahu Anhu that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said to him, “O 'Ali, there are three things which should not be delayed: the prayer when its time is due, the funeral when it is ready, and marrying off an unmarried woman when there is a suitable match for her.[1]

Delaying the marriage is merely a cultural ritual. This ritual and tradition of delaying the marriage to facilitate the elder one in the family has caused many to suffer. It also leads a person to commit various forms of sins.     

Marriage has many benefits. It is a means of Barakah (divine blessing) in the house and for the family. It helps in abstaining from sins and many more.

If there is a need to get married then approach your parents and inform them about your need. Ask them to look for a suitable spouse.

In this situation focusing on one’s Imān is more important than following and considering the feelings of your brothers.

You should emphasize to your brothers the need to marry and encourage them to do so. If you consider following the sequence in marriage, it will follow that all four brothers before you must marry first. When will this happen? It could be a long time.

You are now 28 and you cannot afford any further delay in your marriage especially if you are considered about chastity and purity of your heart.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Mufti Zaid M Shelia,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, Illinois (USA)

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net


[1]    حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ وَهْبٍ، عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللهِ الجُهَنِيِّ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ عُمَرَ بْنِ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَبِي طَالِبٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ أَبِي طَالِبٍ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ لَهُ: يَا عَلِيُّ، ثَلاَثٌ لاَ تُؤَخِّرْهَا: الصَّلاَةُ إِذَا آنَتْ، وَالجَنَازَةُ إِذَا حَضَرَتْ، وَالأَيِّمُ إِذَا وَجَدْتَ لَهَا كُفْئًا.. سنن الترمذي 1/238 دار الغرب الإسلامي بيروت

 

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