Title

Should I perform a secret Nikah with my fiancé?

Question

I want to ask a question but first I will have to explain my situation. My family and I live in America and I was born here as well. Four years ago my family got me engaged to a good Muslim man and I am also a good Muslim. It has been four years and my fiancé wants to get married, but my family just doesn’t want me to get married yet. They want me to wait at least another 3-4 years. My fiancé wants to do a Nikah because if we go out and talk, we are sinful and it is gunaah. My family is not listening to us and is not giving us permission to get married. What should I do? Is a secret Nikah permissible?  

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

There are two aspects to consider regarding a secret Nikah. One is the validity of the Nikah and the other is the practicality and effects of the secret Nikah.  If a proposal and acceptance takes place in the presence of two adult male witnesses or one male and two female witnesses, the Nikah between the biy and girl is valid. The couple will be legally married and any subsequent contact will be permissible.

However, the aspect that must be taken into consideration is that a secret nikāh is frowned upon in Shariah and goes against the teachings of Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam. It is narrated in Musnad Ahmad:

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ بْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ، أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: " أَعْلِنُوا النِّكَاحَ    [1]

Translation: Abdullah bin Zubayr radhiallahu anhu narrates that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: “Publicize the nikāh”

Nikah makes lawful numerous things that were prohibited before marriage. If people are unaware of the fact that a couple is married, they will have bad thoughts about them and disgrace them. Shariah prohibits one from undertaking anything that may cause one disgrace, shame, humiliation and degradation. When a nikāh is performed secretly, the married couple are involuntarily inviting people to accuse them of committing sin.

Furthermore, if the girl gets pregnant, rumours and speculations made by other people will progress and will not be satiated by the explanation of being ‘technically’ married.

It is narrated in Al-zuhd by Abu Dawud:

عَنْ عُمَرَ بْنِ الْخَطَّابِ، قَالَ: مَنْ عَرَّضَ نَفْسَهُ لِلتُّهْمَةِ فَلَا يَلُومَنَّ مَنْ أَسَاءَ بِهِ الظَّنَّ[2]

Translation: Umar bin al-Khattāb radhiallahu anhu is reported to have said: “Whosoever advances himself into a situation where he is prey to false accusation, he should not blame anyone who thinks wrongly of him.”

You are already engaged to marry and your parents are happy for you two to marry each other. You should try to explain the situation to your parents and tell them that you want a nikāh now to save yourselves from committing sin; that interacting with each other out of marriage incurs the wrath of Allah Ta῾ālā. Explain that you just want to perform a simple nikāh in the presence of your friends and family so that your interaction and intermingling is permissible and lawful.

If they don’t agree, then even though in principal a secret nikāh is permissible, we don’t advise it for the aforementioned reasons and because of the fact that it goes against the spirit of Shariah.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,

Mufti Ebrahim Desai