Fatwa: # 17966
Category: Misc. Fiqh
Country: India
Date: 24th May 2009

Title

Unanswered

Question

Dear Mufti Sahab,
Assalamu'alaikum
  
My Love Story:
 
In the month of April-2007 I met a Girl at aan Examination Centre, who is similar to my age & then I've decided to get friendship with her. There I've proposed her to be my friend, she accepted my proposal, then we started dating eachother.
 
We use to get out on date & we started conversation for long-long hours & also we use to chat on phone for long hours. One day I fell in love with her, after thinking a lot about her, I've proposed her & she too loves me.
 
Then we use to meet daily & one day we had sex. We use to have sex more & more, we were very happy in our life, Later she got pregnant & we consulted to a Gynaecologist & soon she aborted the baby.
 
One day I've seriously spoken to my mother that I'm in love with a girl & wants to get marry with her. Soon after that My Mother, Aunty and my sister visited to her home to meet with her parents. After coming back from her home my mother scolded me by saying:
 
  • She is a Beautician.
  • She is not beautiful.
  • She is too short.
  • She belongs to a poor family.
  • She looks elder than you.
  • They are down market people.
  • They live in a down market area.
  • She is not suitable for you.
  • She & her family members is not enough educated.
Finally my mother rejected her.
 
-------------------------------------------------------------
 
One week later I've spoken to her & asked her to meet me, she said okay, the day was Tuesday, but she wasn't met me. On the same day she met with her (School-Time) Ex-Boy Friend. Same day evening I've spoken to her on phone: I asked her ''Where you were today'', She lied me by saying that I was in the market.
 
Again we use to meet outside, One day we were sat in a Bakers & Incidentally her Ex-Boy friend saw us & shockfully he asked her:
 
Ex-Boyfriend questioned her:
  • Who is this person?
  • Why are you sitting with this person.
  • From how many days do you meeting with him?
  • You loves me, then Why are you sitting with this boy & What the hell are you doing with him?
She replied: I wasn't love you. You are just my friend & this is my to be Lifepartner & soon I'm going to get marry with him.
 
You (Ex-Boyfriend) doesn't deserves to be my Lifepartner.
I'm taking revenge from you (Ex-Boyfriend).
 
Ex-Boyfriend: Hey Dude, ask her where she were on last tuesday? Then I asked her where you were last tuesday?
She replied: I was with him (Ex-Boyfriend).
 
I scold her & told her that you are not suppose to meet me or call me & I break up the relation there, Then I left the place, But she came in to my way and cried a lot & seeks forgiveness, I was very angry at that moment, so I left her there only.
-------------------------------------------------------------
 
On the next day she met me and said that He (Ex-Boyfriend) is her School-time friend thats all, She wasn't said anything about her Ex-Boyfriend to me, because she wants to take a revenge from him (Ex-Boyfriend), because earlier He (Ex-Boyfriend) cheated her friend, she decided to keep this relation secret and wants to take revenge from him (Ex-Boyfriend).
 
At that moment I believed her but later her (Ex-Boyfriend) met me & said somany bad about her character. I listen to him (Ex-Boyfriend).
 
Later I've spoken to her & asked each & every moment of her past.
 
She replied: I wasn't love him, He (Ex-Boyfriend) is just my friend, I can't belief that He (Ex-Boyfriend) said somany bad things about me. It is my mistake that I've not told you about him (Ex-Boyfriend) by thinking that 'You will think bad about me and If  I says anything about him (Ex-Boyfriend) you will feel bad. Thats why I was quit. Actually I want to take revenge from him (Ex-Boyfriend), because earlier He (Ex-Boyfriend) broked one of my friend's heart by cheating her, thats why I kept friendship with him (Ex-Boyfriend).
------------------------------------------------------------
 
Later she realised her mistakes, apologised me & she's crying a lot. Now she wants to get marry with me later.
 
My Questions:
 
  • I'm still doubtfull on her. I'm feeling insecure.
  • I've seen truthfullness in her eyes, she promises me that whatever She said, is true.
  • I'm agree with her story, But sometimes I feels that She lied me becuase She don't want to loose me.
  • Is she telling truth to me or not?
  • Is she really loves me or just wants to join a good family by getting marry?
  • We are still meeting & I suspect that she really loves me & I hope I'm the first & the last love of her life.
There is short saying: 'A suspicious person is a highly insecure personality'.
 
The above proverbs is happening in my life.
 
 
I'm very confused.
what should I do?
Shall I trust her? or Shall I obey my mother?
Shall I get marry with her or not?
I don't want to be answerable on the day of judgement.
I need your advice.
 
What Islam says? please prescribe me, as it is my life's big decision.
 
I'll be much Grateful & Thankful to you, If you advice me.
I hope the best from Allaah SWT & hope the best from you.
 
Waiting for yours reply.
Thanking you.

 

Answer

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