Fatwa: # 17721
Category: Misc. Fiqh
Country: South Africa
Date: 15th March 2009

Title

Unanswered

Question


I would like ur advise with regard to my marriage.  I am married for 2 years now.  My husband was very happy to marry me and chose me himself saying that he liked my deeni qualities and the fact that i was decent, domesticated and homely.  We discussed our pasts and what we expected of the marriage.  He assured me that he had no bad habbits such as other women and other major sins which i would rather not mention.  After we got married i was shocked to find that he was secratly corresponding with alot of other women via sms's.  And once, he left the house at night to meet one particular woman.  He says it was totally innocent but this hurt me deeply and caused alot of arguments since i feel he wasnt entirely honest with me from the begining and didnt stick to his promises from before we got married.  He still speaks to some women but he does not do it as much as he used to and our arguments have stopped.  But throughout our problems he kept telling me that he wants to end the marriage because we fight too much.  I felt that he was trying to run away from the problem instead of dealing with it.  Our relationship has seemed stable for the last 6 months or so.  I asked him if he wanted to start a family and he exploded saying he never wants to have kids.  When his mother asked him, he said he didnt want to have kids with me because he doesnt like the way i think. 

But i was just asking him to obey the laws of marriage aswell as ALLAHs laws.  I read istikhara several times, im still unsure of what to do.  His telling me to leave but his mother says i must not leave, i must have patience and he'll come to his senses. I feel like he doesnt really mean that he wants the marriage to be over, but i am so confused as to what to do.  He is loving and affectionate until i mention a child.  I feel so helpless and confused.  I want my marriage to work, but i dont know if im forcing things a bit too much.  I feel he is unfair in his reasons for wanting a divorce.  Please advise me as best as you can.


May Allah bless you in abundance for your work

Answer

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