Title

Unanswered

Question

Aslam-u-Alyqum

I have committed a grave sin. I have been involved with a muslim female for the last few months. I know how much of
a sin zinna is but there was something about her that kept drawing me in and regardless of how much i tried i was
unable to let go. I understand this was the work of shaytaan and i was a wrong to allow myself to get sucked in.
We did not have intercourse but did partake in other physical, sexual activities. Now, we are no longer together.
However, i cant seem to stop thinking about her. I want to stop as i no this is going to take me further away from
Allah (SWT) than i already am and i do not want this. I believe i have a good imaan, i always consider the feelings
of others and would never dream of purposely hurting anyone. However, i realise how much of a mistake i have made,
i wanted you to help me repent for all my past sins and to show me how to avoid making the same mistakes in the
future.

Also, if i do happen to come across a girl i can see a future with, how do i approach the matter? And also, how
am i meant to know when a girl is right for me without making an effort to get to know her first? For example, from
what i know, you are meant to ask a father if you have his blessing to get to know his daughter with the intent to
marry. I would feel embarrassed though if at a later stage it became clear that i was incompatible with her. Please
explain the process to me as i do not want to commit the same sin again but at the same time i would like to find a
suitable girl, get to know her and marry her when we are both completely ready.

Another question i had was how does islam feel about violence? I believe in karma very strongly. I believe we will
pay for all our sins, no matter how big or small we believe them to be. If you are really desperate in a certain
situation, though, is violence permissable? And to what extent or under what circumstances? I do have the ability
to get quite angry but i turn to Allah (SWT) and this helps me calm down. What if i really have no option but to
physically fight back though?

Finally, my belief in Allah (SWT) is so strong that i can take any blow i am dealt on the chin because i believe it was
the will of Allah (SWT) and there must be a reason behind it. Me, as a mere mortal, may not understand the reason
but that is irrelevant because i have my faith. Every so often, though, i feel Allah (SWT) seems to pile punishment
on top of me. Bad things, as such, happen to me and they genuinely demoralise me and upset me. Even then, i convince#
myself that it is the will of Allah (SWT) and i move on but i believe its natural to wonder why these things happen?
This is not a sign of decreasing faith. If anything, with every challenge i face, my belief increases, but is there
anything written with regards to this?

Any help would be very much appreciated on the above matters.

Jazaak-Allah.

P.s. My family are facing a torrid time financially, I know my father is partly at fault because he does not pray but
he does work very very hard. Is there anything that can be done to help prosper in this area? Things are extremely tough
at the moment.

I apologise for the length of this question.