Fatwa: # 17221
Category: Misc. Fiqh
Country: South Africa
Date: 22nd October 2008

Title

Unanswered

Question

I am 24 years old, a dentist and have been married for just over 1 year. i was only with my husband for 6 months and for the last 10 months we have been seperated.

we used to fight all the time, over small things that now seem stupid, but ta the time they were all major issues. Also, i felt that there was alot of  interference from my in-laws but my husband disagrees. H e is the one wha asked for "a break", which is how i went back to my parents. it was supposed to be a 3 day break, but has turned into a 10 month seperation. During the seperation, both our families have fouht with each other and now things are very bitter.

Before we married, when the proposal came, i accepted it on the basis that my inlaws and husband agreed that i could continue working and studying, and pursue my career. Everything was agreed upon. Now my husband says its his right to tell me to sit at home and forget my career, although we had an agreement before marriage which he is going back on. He says he doesnt care what was said before marriage because things cahnge. How can an agreement change if you have given your word, and if i only agreed to this marriage because i knew my career would not suffer or become a problem??

am i within my islamic rights to want to continu working, as this was what was agreed upon? Also, as a muslim wife am i within my rights to say that i dont wnat to start a fanily right now, i am not saying never but i am just saying not now??? Am i also within my rights to feel and say that my husband needs to satnd up for me and defend me when hi fmily says things and makes demands of me? i am not married to the entire family, just to my husband, yet everyone gets involved in everything.

As a wife, what rights do i have as opposed to my mother-in-law? what rights does she have regarding influence in my marriage? am i correct to say that in our marriage only myhusband and i should be making decisions, and that no parent, mine or hsi, should be involved? and also, am i incorrect to request that i see my parents at least once a  week, as we see my inlaws almost daily????

 

please help

Jazakallah

Answer

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