Title

Unanswered

Question

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatoh and Ramdhan Mubarak.

Firstly may i thank you for your time in reading and inshallah answering this question. I am grately thankful that Allah (swt) has blessed this ummah with good and pious muslims like yourselves who take the time out to assist the ummah of the proophet (s.a.w). May Allah (swt) bless you and grant you succcess in this world and in the hereafter.

My question is as follows. I am a muslim living in the UK. With the understanding that all muslims are tested and have to deal with the hardsip of the Dunya, I still find myself in a very vonourable state. I fear my surroundings as there is nothing but sinnful acts in my community and in this country. I hurt inside because on some occasions i will take part in these acts. i.e smoking, listening to music, talking badly about another muslim brother or sister e.t.c. These acts have become so common in my life and in my surroundiongs that i am finding it extremley hard to change my ways.

About two years ago i performed my Ummrah and whilst there i saw a new way of life that i love and want to live. But when i returned to the UK i slowly left my salaat and turned back to my old ways. Everyday i fear the fires of Hell and i fear the day of judgment as i do not know what i will do when questioned about my sinful acts. I have lived this way my whole life and unfortunatly my family and friends are the same way. I cannot leave here as i have made a good life for my wife and my daughter and Allah (s.w.t) has blessed my with a good job.

I try my utmost to get myself to perform my salaat but the shaitan seems to pull me away everytime. I have lost the majority of my imaan and i am finding myself in a dark hole that i cannot get myself out of. I ask Allah (s.w.t) everyday to help me and even though he does as i can feel it in my heart, i still seem to slide away from the Deen and find myself in this hole again.

I live in a house hold that is supported with Haraam Money, i cannot get myself to leave and i really want to as i have my wife and daughter. This house has always been financed with HAraam money and i am earning halaal money by working a seprated job for an IT company. i dont want to disrespect or hurt my parents but i feel that living in this household is playing a part in my sinful acts.

I want to move out but it is also very hard in this country to get buy i dont want a mortgage as this involves interest.

Please advise me on what i should do and also how i can earn Allah (s.w.t) forgiveness and guidance as i do not feel i deserve it. Maybe this is why i am still in this way of Life.

May Allah (s.w,t) grant you success in this life and in the hereafter. and thank you again for your time.

Jazak'allah.